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March 29, 2002

This sounds sick and sad and twisted but I'm really missing BJ right now. We were at the Goldcoast and it's Rockabilly weekend. He was into that. If we were together he totally would have wanted to dress all 50's and go hang out.
I told A he should change his whole "style" and he said no. (I use "style" because you can't call what A wears style. It's more of a whatever I throw on I'll wear.)
So I miss BJ's company because if we were there  I know he'd be all crazy and stuff. We had amazing fun together. It is rare that I have fun with A. I can't remember the last time I went out with him and said, "Wow that was fun." I have a hyper personality, A is either a zombie or a 2-year-old. It sucks.
I wish I would have waited until after I was 21 to marry. Being young (w/o A) is too much fun to pass up.
I can't shake this feeling. I will ignore it once tomorrow comes, but I know that...well nevermind. Past cannot be changed and to dwell is to make myself miserable.
Goodnight.
I just feel like crying.

March 24, 2002

Things are great with me and A.
Lulu turned 21 on Tuesday, so at midnight she and I went out and drank and went bowling. We didn't get home until 4:30 am then last night, me, her and two of her work friends went out to Lulu & my first club, Seven. We danced and drank. I danced so much. I drank so much. It was fun. 8 of my toes have blisters! We got home at 4am.
Tonight we're having a surprise party for her. She has no idea. I don't think. So yay!