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December 23, 2002

I moved most of my stuff out of the house today. It's...interesting. If I let myself think too much about the future I'll freak out a little. Because thinking about moving out is a bit on the scary side. I wish I knew a little of what was going to happen.
I can't believe it's really over.

December 22, 2002

Tomorrow I'm moving all of my stuff out.
And just like that he's signing over the MR2 to me.
Just like that he's setting everything nicely for me.
Just. Like. That.
In a way it hurts, but in a way it doesn't.
But I can't believe how easy it is for him.
I can't believe we got married and lived together for 2.5 years and now it's over and we'll never speak to each other again.
When I bought this journal I never realized I would get married and divorced within its pages.

December 20, 2002

A and I are getting a divorce.
He won't leave his church. It's as simple as that.
So I'm moving my stuff out soon and then I'm going to look at divorce proceedings.
I'm excited to be free again. I should just not marry and play the field for a loooong time.

November 26, 2002

I wish it was over.
Our marriage, I mean. I wish this month was forever. I do not love A. At this second I can not see myself going back to him. I do not want to try and I do not want this anymore. I feel like Sunday when we meet is a forced punishment. I guess it'll be good though.
I want to get my own apartment and live by myself.