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February 1, 2002

My mom just told me to make a pact with him to not talk about that church. So we sort of did. We had a good night and then we were praying and he asked God to help him with what to do on Sundays. After we were done I asked him what that meant and I knew it was the church. I felt sick inside and he was so hurt and sad. I don't know what's wrong with me. I crave his hurt sometimes. I'm so sick.