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January 4, 2002

I am so tired of all of this.
I have tried the past few days to be positive and A is so negative. When I tried to tell him, he got mad. Can't I tell the truth?
I want to cry, but that's only because it's so close to my period. I am just going to spend time away from him.
I read this Christian romance booked called :Bamboo & Lace" by Lori Wick. The main character in it was raised in Lhasa which is a place where women can't even look men in the eye. The girl moves to Hawaii and she is so godly and humble and pure. After spending 400-something pages with her I grew to love her and I long to be more like that. So I have been praying more and stuff. I can already feel God more. I know He wants me to be all I can be through Him.
So setbacks like this fight with A are semi-discouraging but also understandable. Whenever you're on the right path Satan will try to deflect you.