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November 11, 2002

I took  my wedding ring off. A is buying that scooter with his mommy's $700. I'm not going to be married to some boy. I want a man and a man who cares about his wife. He lives like he's single. I'm not going to be over here pining away for him. So my taking it off was a symbolic F-you, if you will.
Honestly, I do not want a divorce. But as of right now it looks like that is what's happening. I am not moving back in to face $700 debt. I will not live under his mommy's thumb.
I really love A.
I love him so much I loathe him.
Every day it becomes more apparent that this is to be a God-thing. Because nothing I or anyone else says will help. I need to read the Bible right now. Goodnight.