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May 8, 2002

I am a room operator online in a miscarriage chat room and the owner asked me to write my testimony. So, I have been thinking about it and I don't know where to start or finish.
Hey! I started talking to P again! All of the sudden one day he IM'd me and so now we talk! I am so happy because I love him so much as a friend.
I wish I could go dancing more. I love to dance. I may not be good at it but I love it all the same. :)

I feel so distant from A. All he talks about lately is car crap. I have spent no quality time with him. I am feeling like I am losing interest and vice versa. He is so unreasonable to talk to. It seems the things we want are opposite.
It seems at times like these I don't even know what to do. I have nowhere to go and so I am stuck at home.
I think it's obvious I'm sad but what difference does that make to him? None at all. And I tried to tell him my feelings, but he didn't understand. Now he's asking me to hang out and I'm telling him no. He's so mean and such a bully sometimes. He's asking me again and again. I am getting so irritated. I hate this so much.